I Have a Personality I Promise. You Just Make Me Nervous

A couple of weekends ago I didn't get a callback for a major audition, and you know what?  I'm feelin' great.  Not in a I'm feeling great, but sobbing on the inside, but a I'm happy with what I did feeling.  This is the most in control vocally I've felt, and that's something that I was having problems with, so I count this as a huge win.  I think I'm in that point now where I'm like "oh well" *looks on my calendar, Oh shit! I have an audition next week is it really already February *fumbles and bumbles around the internet for the company's website and season.  I've also found that I'm never going to wear a dress to an audition ever again.  Mainly because I can't stretch in a dress, but also because I feel hella powerful in a pair of slacks and a blouse and same kickin' heels.  Seriously I felt like I could conquer the world, or at the very least save it Buffy style.  So now that I've started finding my vocal control, I think I'll finally be able to unwind a bit.  Like be more than monosyllabic.  For example

"I like your top."

"Thank you."

"Oh thanks, I got it at Forever 21 for like 17 bucks.  Livin' on that college budget you know. Hahahahaha"

To any casting director person in general I've ever met I have a personality I promise you just make me nervous.  I was talking to Patrik the other day and he put it perfectly .  That talking and being social is a muscle that for some people you have to consciously flex.  I'm definitely that sort of person.  In fact, and he'll hate me for airing this publicly, but when we first me my freshman year of college Patrik thought I was a complete and total air head, because I didn't say much of anything.  More than an anything I won't say much because A. I don't want offend or inflict my opinions/beliefs on anyone unwillingly or B. I don't always say the most appropriate things so I have to actively engage my filter; which is why writing has become a perfect outlet for me.  My audience can stop reading at any time; which makes them willing participants and my filter is actively engaged so I say what I want exactly how I want it to be said.  With all that being said I know that talking to new people in person is something that I should probably, definitely, without a doubt work on, because I think it would be helpful if my voice on paper and in real life matched.

Finding the Perfect 16

This is the thought that I have been obsessed with for weeks now.  Coldly calculating a way to give myself the best chance to show off my talents to casting directors.  Picking 16 bars worth of music to sing is like picking a sentence.  Something that's exciting, a complete thought, but also shows off your personality, and oh yeah, hast to fit into what their looking for their shows.  It's stupidly hard in my opinion and constantly over thought.  So what did I do when I needed to pick my 16?  immediately started to over think it.  Of course.

This brings me to my voice lessons.  Part of what I love about them is I get to hand off my music to someone else who gets to think for me while I play around and explore all the different ways to express the song.  This is when the personal connection to the song happens.  Also I sing in front of the mirror, because I figure if I can connect with myself I can better connect with someone else; which falls along the same vein of loving yourself, so other people can love you- self-help, but actually helpful bullshit.  Back to my voice lessons though; and finding the perfect 16.  The best and only advice I can give to you is hand your music off to someone else you trust whether that be your voice teacher, your roommate, an honest stranger on the street, and work it till it clicks, and if it doesn't click so what?  Pick a different song, a song that you enjoy and repeat the process.  Stop making it a burden, and make it a game.  I hope this helps, and good luck to everyone picking their music for this audition season.  See you all there. ;)